Mental Health Post #20: Addiction

I've been thinking a lot about addiction lately since the show Dopesick came out on Hulu (haven't had a chance to start it yet).  Like many other people, I've often used the phrase "addictive personality" in relation to myself mostly.  Recently, I've really come to hate that phrase because it is so pathological and makes me sound like this forever broken person.  It has a connotation that it's hopeless for a person to even try to overcome this "personality defect".  I do believe it is so helpful to know if you have a family medical history of addiction because there is a genetic link to addiction.  Often in looking back on one's family, one can see issues of mental health in their predecessors as well.  I generally believe that anyone who has struggled with addiction has generally struggled with some sort of mental health problem as well.  (Just a reminder that I'm not at all a health professional and you are always welcome to disagree.)  But to just say I have an addictive personality is one dimension of mental health in a world of complexity.  

We know that poor mental health is usually a combination of many, many factors: genetics, personality, past trauma (especially during developmental years), exposure to substances, parenting, cultural messages, etc etc.  Some of my ancestors struggled with substance abuse disorders, and because of that my parents were always very careful about how we approached using even over the counter medication.  I appreciate that perspective because it forced me to take note of my relationship to any kind of drug, but especially the pyschoactive ones.  I didn't always agree with my parents' opinions on how I was using those drugs, especially ones that were prescribed to me by legitimate physicians, but hey, we all have disagreements with our parents about various things as we grow and change.  

I think the point I want to make here is that instead of focusing on whether we have an addictive personality, it might be useful to look deeper and ask if maybe we are dealing with a mental health disorder?  This might seem tricky at first because there are a lot of different kinds of addictions.  I think many white people think of male people of color dealing in an alley, which is not only racist, but also deeply hurtful to both white people and people of color.  Instead, it might be helpful to look at all the different ways that addiction can be expressed.  For some people it can be gaming, for others it can be through substance abuse (with legal/illegal drugs and/or prescription medication from legitimate medical providers), and for still others it could be excessive exercise or masturbation or porn use or eating.  However you slice it, the issue is escapism pure and simple.  And when I say escapism, I am not talking about watching a little TV, hanging with friends, reading or scrolling through social media to relax after a hard day of work.  We all know that we require downtime almost every day to recharge emotionally.  

I've often been asked how you know when you are doing too much.  I think there are a couple questions that you can ask yourself that will help you know if you are addicted to something.  First, can you live without the thing you believe you may be addicted to?   As in, can you go a few days without it or do you completely fall apart?  If you are not functional without 4 hours of gaming every day, you may have a problem.  Second, do you find yourself increasingly procrastinating deadlines to participate more in the issue you struggle with?  As a teacher, Derek often talks about how some of his students who do not know how to self-regulate come to college and get stuck in this rut of being stressed about classes and homework and self-medicate with some gaming.  Then they get even more stressed about how behind they are and retreat into more gaming because they are so anxious and eventually all they are doing is gaming and they end up failing a class or three.  For me personally, I feel like if I wondering if I am too addicted to something, then I probably am.  Hence my constant social media fasts.  ;)

I don't want to leave people on a downer note because I believe there is help for those struggling with addiction.  It almost never is overnight, and even when addressing the root problem of poor mental health, healing never happens immediately.  We have bumps in the road and we have to continually pick ourselves back up.  Many will struggle with addictions their whole lives.  Like many people, I have found hope in my relationship with God.  I have found strength in knowing that He cares about me and that I have worth in His sight.  I also couldn't do what I do without all of the mental health professionals that have been in my life for two decades now.  I'm especially fond of my therapist with benefits, Derek.  Truly this road is best traveled in groups.