Mental Health Post #22: Stigma

I apologize for the long delay in posts.  I decided I needed a break during the holiday season, but your favorite dark humorist is back with more dog pictures and oversharing...

I haven't addressed this directly yet, but for sure you can see some hints about how the stigma surrounding mental health issues has affected me and those I love.  It's a tricky topic because basically all of us have stigma deep (and some of us not so deep) inside of us, though we may try and root it out.  If I asked if you think less of me because of my posting these essays, you would say, "of course not!"  But if I offered to care for your kids a couple of hours every day, or hold a leadership position in anything, would you be able to honestly say that you did not factor in my diagnosis when responding?  I don't want to push this too far, because many of you who read this don't even know me that well anyway, so you don't know other important things about me, like whether I am dependable, honest or responsible.  I just know that while I am passionately anti-racist and anti-homophobic (among other things), I still find in myself programmed responses that indicate that I still hold some racist and homophobic mental patterns.  I am confident that this is also true when it comes to mental health issues.  

I wish I could speak about stigma in the work force, but it has been too many years since I have been a part of that.  I have volunteered intensely in my children's schools and in my congregations though, and I have had opportunity to witness peoples' biases against mental illness and those who have mental illness.  As I alluded to in my post about '10 Things You Shouldn't Say to Say to Someone with Poor Mental Health,' I was once shamed for suggesting that someone who was having a hard time should consider looking into depression and anxiety as a possible issue.  I was told that there is no way that that person could possibly have either of those things and that they probably just needed to read their scriptures and pray more.  The intimation of that statement is that I probably wasn't doing enough of either of those things either.  Also suggested is that mental illness can be "cured" by reading scriptures and praying more.  Look, I'm a deeply religious person, and I don't want to discount the role of God in my life.  He's helped me out a million times, and some of those times have been leading me to therapists and psychiatrists that have educated me and provided medications I need to be functional and whole.  But I argue that God doesn't always part the Red Sea and that often, He guides us to measures present here that can help us, including peer-reviewed medical science that has made a huge difference in my life for the good.

Another issue I've noticed is there is a generational gap in knowledge about mental health.  The older someone gets, the more likely they are to not know how to talk about, or handle mental health issues.  I have no numbers to back this up--it's purely anecdotal.  But I think we can all agree that in the 46 years that I have been alive, great strides have been made in how we talk and think about mental illness, and what options are available to those who struggle with it.  I hope this doesn't come across as "Ok, Boomer" when we (and I include myself) are all learning to navigate these waters.  I have loved ones who deal with mental health issues and I still find myself weekly struggling with knowing how to act, and what direction to turn for guidance.  It's HARD, and it's hard for everyone.  I appreciate everyone in my life who has taken the time to learn more about these diseases, especially for those for whom the learning curve was very steep.  Hopefully we will all be open-minded in how we hear each other and give each other grace as we grow in maturity and awareness.

The last big thing I want to mention relating to stigma is how you treat yourself.  Are you too afraid to seek help for your own psychiatric needs?  You should know that you can go 80 years without issues and then find you're dealing with chronic mental illness.  You can be born with those issues and you can literally develop them at any time.  They can come and go, or be a constant feature of your life.  You can have issues that have a huge impact on your life or ones that you are able to push down and still be functional with.  I know people who have channeled extreme anxiety into workplace ambition and for the most part been successful.  But there are always costs, if not now, then at some point.  I would argue that in a world that encourages us to be our best selves, we should for sure (for ourselves and those we love) seek treatment and help if we feel that we are struggling in some way related to mental illness.  It's never too late to start and it's never wrong to show yourself compassion. 

Photo note: sometimes we just feel this way...