Mental Health Post #24: How the Mental Affects the Physical (and vice versa)     

(Trigger warning: for those that can't stand talk about scatological issues and medical TMI, this is your one and only chance to bail.  Just know you are missing a really good post....)

I'm a veteran pooper-in-public (not sure about the correct terminology here ;).  For many, many years, I've dealt with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), often at the most inopportune times.  It's kind of Murphy's Law at this point that if on any walk, run, or hike and my stomach is going to go for broke, it will always, always, always be when I am the furthest away from any available restroom.  This has led to me pooping all over Ann Arbor on Derek and I's runs, Sunstone Knoll in Utah, and the top of Mt. Timpanogos (to name just a few of my favorites).  I've been doing this one so long that I have absolutely no shame at all.  We keep camping TP in the car, and I design my running routes so that if I think I may have any possibility of needing to powder my nose, there is a restroom adjacent.  I'm familiar with the ins and outs of the toilets in my places of routine shopping (thank you Joann's Fabric for FINALLY making the "Men's" toilet a Unisex one.  Pretty sure it's used about .0001% of the time by biological males).  For most of my life that I've dealt with this (since my early 20s), I assumed there was some sort of physical cause for fecal incontinence.  I was right, sort of: my uterus has prolapsed onto my rectum after 5+ pregnancies (especially the hippopotamus that came last), the endometriosis and subsequent surgeries have all caused scarring and adhesions that have "frozen" many of my organs into distorted placements, and I do have a number of allergies that can affect my digestion.  But there is one big puzzle piece I was missing beyond these frank physical symptoms.

Actually, I wasn't so much missing it as I was in denial about it.  I mean, who wants to own up to the fact that the anxiety they felt all night about something was to blame for me barely making it to the toilet after a morning run?  And again, it's a little tricky because I indicated that this isn't a physical issue, when it really is.  All mental health issues are, by definition, physical health issues when you think about it.  We are physical beings and our meatsacks are assuredly affected by the physical stresses played upon them when we have big or prolonged releases of cortisol, adrenaline, and all the other hormones.  While I don't understand the science at a deep chemistry level, I can tell you that any time you have a release of any kind of hormone or neurotransmitter, this leads to cascades of other chemical processes.  And as many of you probably already know, our gut is sometimes euphemistically called our 'second brain' because it hosts a multitude of special receptors just like those that are in the rest of our nervous system.  The way I see it, anything that stresses our brains, also stresses our guts.  The output, so to speak <<wink, wink>> may be different, but only because our brains aren't in the middle of digesting foods.

I've learned a few things that have helped me to manage my obstreperous gut.  One of the most important for me is that I can't let the plumbing get clogged up or I can guarantee at some point that I'll get to have 5 days of gold stars compacted into a few hours.  I take magnesium pills because I need to for other health reasons, and it has the added benefit of giving me a gold star every day.  Another helpful thing is to not consume a lot of caffeine.  Oh my caffeine is so bad for you, and yet such a useful tool.  As sad as it is, I've kept from making it a daily part of my life, tho I do partake on long road trips.  Finally, I do the very most obvious thing of all: try to keep my mental state in good health so that I don't have to deal with public poops on top of everything else that could stress a person out.

For me personally, pooping issues aren't the end of the world.  Actually, they are fodder for some amazing jokes (it's possible my mind got stuck in the humor of a 7th grade male).  But there are often other issues that aren't as humorous to me.  Like the extreme gastritis and nausea I've dealt with since I was tiny that now requires constant antacids.  Or the perennial sweating that comes from chronic release of stress hormones. I hate when I am so anxious that I am constantly being startled by the simplest things--like hiccups, you really can't control a severe startle reflex.  There are tight muscles that lead to tension headaches, and crushing fatigue.  My least favorite of all is the insomnia that I used to drown in, month after month, and year after year.  These things are things that as I've learned to better manage mental illness, have decreased in a way that is less of a problem and more of an occasional annoyance.  Things never go all the way away, and I find it important to have realistic expectations of life: everyone has some sleepless nights, and some bad stomach days, and stressful times.  But those have become the exception rather than the rule.

One more tiny mention: not only is distressing to have your mental health spill over into frank physical symptoms, but having poor physical health leads to poorer outcomes of mental health.  It's a bit of a chicken and egg thing, but it's obvious, right?  Anyone with chronic illness can attest to how disruptive and difficult things like being home-bound, or having chronic pain can be.  In the end, I ask, as I keep asking, that we give grace to those who struggle with these issues, including ourselves, and remember that we are only asked to do the best we can each day, and believe me, for most of us that is far less than we think.  Instead of asking ourselves what tasks we accomplished today, perhaps we can focus on the uncounted but essential things like, the fact that you did not, in fact, kill any family members or pets for leaving muddy footprints around, or not cleaning their rooms, or unloading the dishwasher like you only asked 13,000 times.  

 Photo note: I may or may not have fallen asleep at the end of General Conference.  In my defense, I was warm and snuggled up on the couch with my people.

 

Mental Health Post #23: Advocacy    

More than a decade ago, a friend of mine received a tough diagnosis for their baby.  It wasn't immediately life-threatening but it was certainly severe and looked to impact their daily lives in a very visceral way.  Not too long after the diagnosis, this person discovered a new treatment for this diagnosis that was at the time experimental.  The treatment was completely non-invasive, took only a few treatments over a couple of days,  and likely would completely cure this diagnosis for several years, if not forever.  This person talked to more than five medical professionals, showing them the data and the relevant studies.  All but one brushed it off and said they would not be willing to write a reference for the insurance appeal (as most of you probably know, insurance as a general rule will not cover treatments that are still experimental).  After two appeals to the insurance company, this person was completely blasted emotionally, but persevered because that's what you do for your helpless baby.  They were willing to figure out a way to pay for it out of pocket, despite being very young and new to the workforce.  Thankfully the third appeal went through and they were able to fly to the facility and have the treatment completed.  That baby is thriving and has no further problems thanks to this treatment. 

This story is not actually to bash on the complicated bureaucracy of insurance companies.  What I actually want to get out of it is how dedicated this person was in seeking the best possible care for their baby.  How they found the optimal treatment, and kept getting up to fight for it even when their mental health was getting low, and people kept saying no.  In this story, you are the baby.  And you are the parent.  (Sorry, did that get too Predestination?...  ;)  You deserve to receive the best possible care.  You are necessary and important and anyone that says otherwise is wrong.  Including if your own mind says this.  Remember how we talked about the big LIE of mental illness?  That things have always been this bad and will always be this bad?  Let me add another dimension to this LIE: that they are and always will be this bad because you are worthless.  This is the BIG LIE.  Not only are you important and full of worth, but you are always your own best advocate.  Anyone with a chronic illness can tell you this: you know your body and your life best, and when you are able, you are the best possible person to fight for the best care for them.  Enlist the help of your support group and where possible, advocate for others with similar challenges.  But please don't feel shame if you aren't capable of discussing your mental health challenges at length.  We all do what we can when we can. 

You will face a lot of roadblocks.  If you aren't already aware, there is a stigma about living with mental health issues.  (See my previous post.)  I've had a lot of people ask over the years how they can help, both personally to me and in general concerning mental health.  The most important thing I think is to normalize talking about it.  This can be done with tact and without disclosing other people's private information, but it won't be without discomfort.  It is pretty hard to do things outside of the social norms, and talking about mental health in an open way is still not done with regularity.  Along with this, I want to super encourage those who do not struggle with mental health issues to help shoulder the load.  It can be incredibly difficult for someone with a mental health disorder to talk frequently and at length about their own personal vulnerabilities--if you want to help, please do so by committing to be a safe and open person that others can come to to talk about those things.  Educate yourself about resources and keep an open mind when dealing with others who don't act like you expect.  Be forgiving and tolerant as people learn how to manage their own care.  We all have to start somewhere and learning to manage disease doesn't happen overnight!

Photo note: he feels like laying on my head is the best possible way to show his deep and abiding love for me...  ;)

Mental Health Post #22: Stigma

I apologize for the long delay in posts.  I decided I needed a break during the holiday season, but your favorite dark humorist is back with more dog pictures and oversharing...

I haven't addressed this directly yet, but for sure you can see some hints about how the stigma surrounding mental health issues has affected me and those I love.  It's a tricky topic because basically all of us have stigma deep (and some of us not so deep) inside of us, though we may try and root it out.  If I asked if you think less of me because of my posting these essays, you would say, "of course not!"  But if I offered to care for your kids a couple of hours every day, or hold a leadership position in anything, would you be able to honestly say that you did not factor in my diagnosis when responding?  I don't want to push this too far, because many of you who read this don't even know me that well anyway, so you don't know other important things about me, like whether I am dependable, honest or responsible.  I just know that while I am passionately anti-racist and anti-homophobic (among other things), I still find in myself programmed responses that indicate that I still hold some racist and homophobic mental patterns.  I am confident that this is also true when it comes to mental health issues.  

I wish I could speak about stigma in the work force, but it has been too many years since I have been a part of that.  I have volunteered intensely in my children's schools and in my congregations though, and I have had opportunity to witness peoples' biases against mental illness and those who have mental illness.  As I alluded to in my post about '10 Things You Shouldn't Say to Say to Someone with Poor Mental Health,' I was once shamed for suggesting that someone who was having a hard time should consider looking into depression and anxiety as a possible issue.  I was told that there is no way that that person could possibly have either of those things and that they probably just needed to read their scriptures and pray more.  The intimation of that statement is that I probably wasn't doing enough of either of those things either.  Also suggested is that mental illness can be "cured" by reading scriptures and praying more.  Look, I'm a deeply religious person, and I don't want to discount the role of God in my life.  He's helped me out a million times, and some of those times have been leading me to therapists and psychiatrists that have educated me and provided medications I need to be functional and whole.  But I argue that God doesn't always part the Red Sea and that often, He guides us to measures present here that can help us, including peer-reviewed medical science that has made a huge difference in my life for the good.

Another issue I've noticed is there is a generational gap in knowledge about mental health.  The older someone gets, the more likely they are to not know how to talk about, or handle mental health issues.  I have no numbers to back this up--it's purely anecdotal.  But I think we can all agree that in the 46 years that I have been alive, great strides have been made in how we talk and think about mental illness, and what options are available to those who struggle with it.  I hope this doesn't come across as "Ok, Boomer" when we (and I include myself) are all learning to navigate these waters.  I have loved ones who deal with mental health issues and I still find myself weekly struggling with knowing how to act, and what direction to turn for guidance.  It's HARD, and it's hard for everyone.  I appreciate everyone in my life who has taken the time to learn more about these diseases, especially for those for whom the learning curve was very steep.  Hopefully we will all be open-minded in how we hear each other and give each other grace as we grow in maturity and awareness.

The last big thing I want to mention relating to stigma is how you treat yourself.  Are you too afraid to seek help for your own psychiatric needs?  You should know that you can go 80 years without issues and then find you're dealing with chronic mental illness.  You can be born with those issues and you can literally develop them at any time.  They can come and go, or be a constant feature of your life.  You can have issues that have a huge impact on your life or ones that you are able to push down and still be functional with.  I know people who have channeled extreme anxiety into workplace ambition and for the most part been successful.  But there are always costs, if not now, then at some point.  I would argue that in a world that encourages us to be our best selves, we should for sure (for ourselves and those we love) seek treatment and help if we feel that we are struggling in some way related to mental illness.  It's never too late to start and it's never wrong to show yourself compassion. 

Photo note: sometimes we just feel this way...

Mental Health Post #21: Sleep

Few things screw me up more than not getting good sleep.  Ironically, not getting good sleep is part of the game with almost all mental health disorders.  Whether it's insomnia, or sleeping too much, or bedtime procrastination, there's always something in the grab bag for those who struggle with poor mental health.  I've struggled with all of these (and more!) in my fight to have good mental health.

One of the most severe times I experienced insomnia was when I was going through post-partum depression (PPD) after my first child was born.  I struggled to sleep every night.  It felt like I never slept at all, but after weeks of "not sleeping", I'm pretty sure I was experience micro-sleep or I would've been dead, literally.  Still, the feeling of laying there awake in bed, alone, for hours at a time haunted me.  I got up each day more tired than the previous one and I became fixated on my need for sleep.  I was just.so.tired.  Because I was bottle-feeding this baby, my husband and mother- and father-in-law stepped in to help withe night feedings so I could, ostensibly, "sleep."  We moved in temporarily for a few weeks with my MIL and she gave up her giant, super comfy bed for Derek and I.  It was exactly what I needed for healing and finding a new daily schedule as I was starting antidepressants and seeing a therapist.  But I still struggled to sleep.  Over a period of months, especially once I had started the antidepressant, I finally started getting a healthy amount of sleep and over the next few years, things eased.  I now know that what prevented me from sleeping was extreme anxiety (as well as the depression).  Not knowing when my baby would awaken and need me and all the fears of being a new mom, along with the lifestyle changes and the physiological changes of giving birth, realllllly made it hard for me to relax.  I still struggle with this because anxiety is omnipresent and never goes all the way away for me.  (It's just well managed.)  At night, I practice deep, even breathing (remember how I talked about breath-holding being a symptom of anxiety?), and I focus on relaxing the muscles of my jaw and neck.  I do this every single night.  The only times I don't have to do this are after extreme exertion (like hiking) or if I have to take something like a Benadryl that night.

I have to admit I have rarely had trouble with sleeping too much, though I know this is a common problem for those with depression.  But I have really struggled with having an uncooperative body clock.  I'm a night owl.  Like a SUPER night owl.  I find going to bed between 1-3am to be comfortable for me.  I've been able to sleep in late for the past few years because of arrangements Derek & I have made, but before that, I was a consummate napper.  Frustratingly, this body clock issue seems to have gotten worse as my hormones have been changing during perimenopause.  Just a few years ago, I found midnight a good time to go to bed.  I'm really hoping things will adjust better once I hit full-on menopause and the hormones get sorted.  In the mean time, I make due by napping when needed, and sleeping in when I can.  I often wonder how others are able to cope when they have wonky circadian rhythms like me, though I assume they are able to help control their sleep through the use of caffeine and alcohol.  (I tried caffeine and it's a good short-term solution for me when driving or vacationing, but I super-ultra-mega rapidly metabolize it so it just doesn't last for me.  Not to mention the fact that it messes with my mental health, and physical health, as well as my sleeeeeeep.)

But let's talk about bedtime procrastination.  I think this is something many, many of us struggle with, even those who may not have a mental health issue.  I think you can figure out what bedtime procrastination is from it's title, tho teasing out the why is a little harder.  It differs from day to day or situation to situation for me.  I know that when I had young infants, especially when I was breastfeeding and no one could take night feedings for me, I sometimes had to cut into my sleep time because I was dying from the lack of Me Time.  Derek would sometimes gently chastise me and ask me why I wasn't going instantly to bed, and I would explain to him that sometimes recharging the emotional reserves is more important than sleep.  This is still true sometimes today though I have a lot more time and flexibility in my schedule than I did with young children.  Today my biggest problem is the computer in my pocket.  Sometimes I find myself on social media or YouTube or reading the news and look up and it's been an hour.  This seems to me a common issue for all of us in the digital age, and especially bad for those who are working on better self-regulation.  I've used alarms, or screen time limits, or even going off of social media each time I feel like I am doing a poor job of moderating my usage.  Even then, I find that I sometimes struggle to go to bed, sort of like a toddler who needs a drink and a snack, and to pee again, etc, etc as soon as bedtime rolls around.  I attribute this to some residual sleep anxiety--after enough years of struggling to sleep, one can dread laying down and hoping that they will fall asleep without laying awake for too long listening to the clock tick.

What do I look like when I am consistently not getting enough sleep?  I become super fragile, emotionally, and don't deal well with distress of any kind.  I become less able to function socially, and I have less control over how I speak and react to those around me.  Basically I turn into a big ole toddler who's naptime is overdue.  My family has learned that it's best for everyone if I make sure I get enough sleep.

I recognize that not every is like me and puts sleep down as one of their hobbies.  (I literally was flabbergasted when I realized that not everyone else put sleep down as a hobby when Derek and I moved into our first young married congregation and we were filling out get-to-know-you papers.  What is wrong with you monsters? ;))  Not everyone needs as much sleep as I do to be fully functional.  But it's also crystal clear that for those that struggle with emotional health, finding a way to tame  sleep by having a consistent schedule, and clean bedtime hygiene, is as important as any other tool used to improve mood and behavior.  It's also super tricky and can take a lot of time and effort to find solutions, and just when you find a good solution, bam, you are pregnant or you hit perimenopause and you find you need to reevaluate your approach and possibly your methods for getting enough sleep.  Being patient and flexible, as hard as it is, can again be one of the most important things to bring to the table when working to have better sleep.

Photo note: if only we could all sleep as easily as dogs do...

Mental Health Post #20: Addiction

I've been thinking a lot about addiction lately since the show Dopesick came out on Hulu (haven't had a chance to start it yet).  Like many other people, I've often used the phrase "addictive personality" in relation to myself mostly.  Recently, I've really come to hate that phrase because it is so pathological and makes me sound like this forever broken person.  It has a connotation that it's hopeless for a person to even try to overcome this "personality defect".  I do believe it is so helpful to know if you have a family medical history of addiction because there is a genetic link to addiction.  Often in looking back on one's family, one can see issues of mental health in their predecessors as well.  I generally believe that anyone who has struggled with addiction has generally struggled with some sort of mental health problem as well.  (Just a reminder that I'm not at all a health professional and you are always welcome to disagree.)  But to just say I have an addictive personality is one dimension of mental health in a world of complexity.  

We know that poor mental health is usually a combination of many, many factors: genetics, personality, past trauma (especially during developmental years), exposure to substances, parenting, cultural messages, etc etc.  Some of my ancestors struggled with substance abuse disorders, and because of that my parents were always very careful about how we approached using even over the counter medication.  I appreciate that perspective because it forced me to take note of my relationship to any kind of drug, but especially the pyschoactive ones.  I didn't always agree with my parents' opinions on how I was using those drugs, especially ones that were prescribed to me by legitimate physicians, but hey, we all have disagreements with our parents about various things as we grow and change.  

I think the point I want to make here is that instead of focusing on whether we have an addictive personality, it might be useful to look deeper and ask if maybe we are dealing with a mental health disorder?  This might seem tricky at first because there are a lot of different kinds of addictions.  I think many white people think of male people of color dealing in an alley, which is not only racist, but also deeply hurtful to both white people and people of color.  Instead, it might be helpful to look at all the different ways that addiction can be expressed.  For some people it can be gaming, for others it can be through substance abuse (with legal/illegal drugs and/or prescription medication from legitimate medical providers), and for still others it could be excessive exercise or masturbation or porn use or eating.  However you slice it, the issue is escapism pure and simple.  And when I say escapism, I am not talking about watching a little TV, hanging with friends, reading or scrolling through social media to relax after a hard day of work.  We all know that we require downtime almost every day to recharge emotionally.  

I've often been asked how you know when you are doing too much.  I think there are a couple questions that you can ask yourself that will help you know if you are addicted to something.  First, can you live without the thing you believe you may be addicted to?   As in, can you go a few days without it or do you completely fall apart?  If you are not functional without 4 hours of gaming every day, you may have a problem.  Second, do you find yourself increasingly procrastinating deadlines to participate more in the issue you struggle with?  As a teacher, Derek often talks about how some of his students who do not know how to self-regulate come to college and get stuck in this rut of being stressed about classes and homework and self-medicate with some gaming.  Then they get even more stressed about how behind they are and retreat into more gaming because they are so anxious and eventually all they are doing is gaming and they end up failing a class or three.  For me personally, I feel like if I wondering if I am too addicted to something, then I probably am.  Hence my constant social media fasts.  ;)

I don't want to leave people on a downer note because I believe there is help for those struggling with addiction.  It almost never is overnight, and even when addressing the root problem of poor mental health, healing never happens immediately.  We have bumps in the road and we have to continually pick ourselves back up.  Many will struggle with addictions their whole lives.  Like many people, I have found hope in my relationship with God.  I have found strength in knowing that He cares about me and that I have worth in His sight.  I also couldn't do what I do without all of the mental health professionals that have been in my life for two decades now.  I'm especially fond of my therapist with benefits, Derek.  Truly this road is best traveled in groups.

Mental Health Post #19: Intrusive Thoughts

When my kids were much younger, we used to have a conversation every Sunday as we drove to church.  It was not about anything religious, nor was it about anything prosaic like dinner plans.  It was, in fact, about Frozen Girl.  You don't know this title, so let me explain to you exactly who Frozen Girl is.  Frozen Girl is an Incan mummy found in the Andes mountains in the late 1990s, and featured in a children's non-fiction book that my kids had checked out from the library months before.  Frozen Girl both repulsed and deeply fascinated my kids, to the point that she featured in daily conversations.  Now, months later, one of my daughters began bringing her up habitually, like clockwork, when we passed a certain road driving to church.  I would hear this little voice in the back say, "I wanna talk about Frozen Girl."  Said daughter was only 5'ish years old and at first it was kind of funny.  We would talk about Frozen Girl for a few minutes and then we would move on.  Every time, I wrestled with how much I should say in describing how she had died, especially when I was asked if it had hurt and if she had been scared.  After thinking about it long enough, I realized that it was her (and her sisters') way of contemplating death and the fear of going away.  After enough time, we stopped talking about it, and now that my kids are old, we sometimes bring up Frozen Girl again in reminiscence of how cute and silly they used to be as littles.

This story illustrates to me the repetitive nature of our thoughts when we are worried about something.  When you have chronic anxiety, you can find yourself ruminating about things all the day long as you replay what you should've done and what you should do in the future.  You can have compulsions like needing to go over and over procedural lists in your heads of how to behave or what you need to do.  It takes up a gross amount of bandwidth and drains energy away from other important aspects of living.  Many people with mental health diseases complain of brain fog, and the inability to think clearly and consistently.  I personally find it almost impossible to hold thoughts in my head and my memory goes to the dogs.  

Besides having repetitive thoughts, someone with anxiety/depression may have strange intrusive thoughts that are deeply unsettling.  I'm not talking about the normal weirdness that is inherent in the human condition.  Everyone wonders what it would be like to kiss some random person, or curiously thinks what it would feel like to jump off a cliff.  We have the weird thought and we throw it away because it's such nonsense.  When you have intrusive thoughts, the same distressing thoughts can keep coming back, sometimes worse each time.  I remember after I had one of my babies when we lived in family housing, I became almost obsessed with worry that my kids would get a hold of the kitchen knives and somehow fall on one.  It was just specific enough and often enough that it started to cause me real anxiety.  Thankfully it started getting bad around the same time I was finessing my antidepressant dosage, as well as seeing a truly wonderful therapist.  She talked to me about not letting my mind focus on those weird thoughts and how to recenter myself so that I didn't get so hung up on unlikely scenarios.  I like knowing that when we think about things over and over again, we are creating roads in our minds.  The more often we walk those roads, the more formed they get.  They may start out as just a deer trail, and with enough time and rumination, they can become 8 lane highways.  The goal is to not allow that kind of development to happen with the toxic thoughts.  We all have Frozen Girls in our lives and while we don't want to repress them in an unhealthy way, we also don't want to be thinking about them all the time and ruin all the good living to be had.

Photo note: we planted a tulip poplar last fall and it has the BIGGEST leaves.  They are so glorious and I hope that tree gives some family so much joy in 40 years when I no longer live here...

 

Mental Health Post #18: Some Random Causes of Poor Mental Health

I'm sure many of you have heard a few things by now about serotonin and other neurotransmitters and their probable involvement in mental health.  But mental health is so much more complex than changing how much neurotransmitter is hanging out in the brain.  We have these awesome antidepressants that help us to help ourselves, but we still don't know fully why or how different physiological changes can affect our psychology.  Plus, there are many other factors, both internal and external, that can affect how a person is feeling from day to day or year to year.  Here are a few that I've experienced or witnessed throughout my life:

1. Infectious/chronic disease: This is not black and white but also can have an intricacy of effects.  On the one hand, just feeling crummy from chronic pain or fever literally makes you not feel good.  I had the misfortune to suffer from mastitis (breast infections) after most of my pregnancies which would cause me to run very high fevers for days at a time.  Twice I was hospitalized and given IV antibiotics to get it under control.  Those fevers sapped me of my ability to think clearly, to make decisions and to feel whole.  Anyone who has been really sick can understand how something as innocuous as a fever can cause your mental health to diminish.  There is another aspect to this too, especially for those who have chronic or long-last conditions: being sick and unable to do the things you love is draining and often causes feelings of loss.  Even the most emotionally robust person is going to have times where it can be hard to have a good mood because they need so much more care from others, and spend so much more money on their medical interventions, and can have restricted activities.  These things can lead to poor mental health in the short- and the long-term.

2. Prescription drugs/OTC/supplements: I've had more lightbulb moments than I would've liked over the past few years regarding the medications and supplements I've taken for various things and their affect on my mental health.  For instance, I learned long ago that antihistamines affect my mood in a negative way.  The higher the dose or the stronger the medication, the bigger the effect.  Not too long ago I was prescribed a cheap, common prescription antihistamine called hydroxizine to help with the eczema in my basement (sorry, I just learned this euphemism so you're going to hear it non-stop because it's hilarious!).  It's also supposed to help with anxiety and has the added benefit of causing sleepiness which can be a godsend for someone who is unwittingly digging furrows in their own skin at night from the itchiness.  What my dermatologist didn't know is that hydroxizine may be great for anxiety, but it's a real bummer if you have major depression.  Two days after I started taking a baby dose, I was a complete wreck and I could not figure out why.  I had been sleeping tons, eating enough, and it wasn't almost my period.  But I was crying non-stop (okay, that's not abnormal since I'm a crier, but this was over the top) over my own parking job or ridiculous things like that.  Thankfully Google helped me find some good academic information that said hydroxizine can be contraindicated in persons with major depressive disorders.  To a lesser effect, I've noticed that even OTC allergy meds like Claritin and Allegra do this too, as well as Benadryl.  Because I have to take these drugs daily/weekly, I've learned to be ready if I am going to have to increase a dose and know to give myself extra time and self-care.  Benadryl, a cheap, super helpful rescue allergy medicine, will leave me a little moody the next day, and knowing that helps me to be able to be kinder to myself and lessen expectations for a couple days, as well as let the people around me know so they don't take my moodiness personally.  Other drugs that I'm aware of that can affect mood include all steroids (especially when coming off of a steroid), many herbal supplements for mood, and some cancer medicines.  Here's the take-away: if you just started a new medication and your mood has precipitously dropped, look it up and consider if maybe it is either that medicine you are taking, or maybe an interaction between two or more medications.  Or you are eating grapefruit.  (Am I the only one that thinks it's super weird how you cannot have grapefruit with like every single medication ever?!?)

3. Temporary medical conditions: I want to specifically zero on vitamin and mineral deficiencies here.  I've had a long-standing war with my body and it's ability to hang on to ferritin (iron) in my red blood cells.  Thus, I've had chronic iron-deficiency anemia for literally decades now.  About every year, I go in for iron infusions which tops me off for a few months before I need more gas in the tank.  Anemia makes me not only fatigued and craving corn (I have no idea why, but I'm just grateful I'm not eating detergent or dirt like other people with pica), but also incredibly fragile mentally.  I know many different deficiencies in essential nutrients can cause this symptom in people.  One of the first things my new psychiatrists from every move have ever done was order a full CBC (complete blood count) and a workup on my nutrient levels.  For some people, getting more folate or vitamin B in their diet can be enough to help them sustain a positive mood.  For others it can be a big piece of the puzzle with other interventions to figuring out better mental health.

 

4. Trauma: I've mentioned this before because I have experienced trauma in my life.  Examples can include physical, sexual and emotional abuse, living through war, moving frequently, medical trauma, experiencing the death of a loved one, and many, many other things, particularly as they happen to a young child.  Childhood trauma literally changes the way the brain develops and grows.  It can cause certain parts of the brain to shrink, or neurotransmitters to release too much or too often, or not enough or not often enough.  It literally changes the scaffolding of the nervous system and can have long-term impacts on a person's mood as well as their approach to life.  How to address this?  Through boat-loads of trauma counseling and usually medications.  And then of course patience and time.

I think the hardest thing about mental illness for me has been the amount of patience I've had to learn to deal with the time it takes to address any of these things.  Even when you have something as small as a fever that is making your feel rotten, time seems to slow down and it can be hard to get to the next day.  Dealing with poor mental health in a loved one is also just so difficult.  You want them (and yourself) to stop suffering immediately and for everyone to be happy and contented.  Please don't give up, on yourself or your loved one.  Hard times usually do end and joy and happiness come back.  Sometimes the hard things don't go away, but your capacity to live with them and still be joyful is increased.  I know truth this and depend on it myself.

 

Photo note: am the only one that thinks the little antennas of slugs and snails are SOOOOO cute??  Ya they are covered in a mucusy slime, and they eat holes in my tomatoes, but those antennas!!